Bittersweet Trust by J.L. Beck Release Day Blitz

Trust- The firm belief in the reliability, honesty, ability, and strength of someone or something.

Bittersweet Trust on Goodreads.com

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RELEASE DATE: NOVEMBER 7, 2014

I let every wall I had built around my heart crumble to the ground for him. He told me to trust him, and I did. I never thought that trusting someone would be my biggest downfall.

I listened to his promises and thought I could believe him. I actually thought I could be the reason he would stay…

I can’t trust him.

She can’t trust me.

I hate him.

She hates me....

... I’m sure of it. Why shouldn't she? I knocked her up and then walked out on her. It's better this way. I’m fucked up, lost, and no good for her or our baby. The pain is unbearable without her, but she deserves better... At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

I still love her.

I loved him.

She loves me, and she knows it...

... But this time she doesn't want me anymore, doesn't need me anymore. Suddenly, it occurs to me that I may have actually lost her for the rest of my life.

I need her to love me.

I still love him...

With the broken promises of the past threatening to destroy us, I don’t think we can give in and move forward. Everything has changed between us; I have changed. There are risks I'm not willing to take anymore...

If anything, I've learned love is nothing without trust.

Inside and out. She is mine. Mine. I keep telling myself this over and over again.

I nip and suck at her earlobe until she comes back down to earth. Her head leans against mine as we stare into one another’s eyes.

“I want you. All of you. The fucked up, the good, the bad, the ugly. I’m far from perfect, Mimi. I’ve fucked up so much. I’ve made mistakes, but nothing was as big as walking away from you. So please… Just…” My fingers dig into her hips as if to hold her into place so she can never run away.

“Just forgive me. Please. Be mine. Let me love you. Let me be everything you need.” My voice is pleading. I don’t even care that I sound like a pussy whipped guy, just as long as I get her back.

She pushes me back, softly slipping off the counter and to her feet. “Once upon a time, you gave me this shit line of a story about how much you loved me, that if I gave myself to you, you would be there for me. Well, guess what? You weren’t there when I needed you the most. You walked away from me, so now this is me walking away from you.” A determination shows deep in her eyes, and I can’t help but feel my mouth open in awe at what she just said.

“Did you…?” I’m flabbergasted. I cannot even talk right now.

“Did I just what? Feed you a dose of your own medicine? Pretend to care? Let you get me off and walk away from you? Hmm… I think so.”

My head is spinning, and my heart is breaking. Rage and anger consume my thoughts. I really want to lash out at her, to hurt her the way she’s hurting me right now. Instead, I’m standing here with my pants around my ankles being thrown out like yesterday’s garbage.

“How could you? I fucking told you I love you!” I roar, pulling my pants up and buttoning them. My fists find the marble island as I pound the rage out into it.

“Welcome to my world, Corey. I told you I loved you. I told you we could do this, but you all but accused me of sleeping with someone else. For all you know, I am now,” she sneers. I lose it the second she says she could be sleeping with someone else. My anger is through the roof when I grab her by the arm. My hold is gentle, but there is a look of fear and shock in her eyes.

“Who is it then? Because I swear to God that if you’re lying to me, I will beat your ass until it’s as red as a cherry. Don’t fuck with me, Mimi!” My voice is sinister and oddly quiet which scares me more. There’s someone else; that explains it. I release her arm, my fingers going into my hair as I pace the room. I can’t… I can’t do this. I can’t picture life without her. I always thought she would be here. I thought that she was the one for me and I the one for her.

“Hurts to be on the receiving end of the pain, huh? Hurts to have your heart broken, to have your hopes and wishes ripped from you?” She’s trying her hardest to sound mean and hateful, but I know her better than that.

“I know you love me…” I say, shaking my head as if this is all a bad dream. “I know you want me, and I know that we can work this out. I see the way you look at me, the way you acted at the doctor’s office… I know the love you have for me is in you somewhere.”

“Used... to have for you,” she states as if she’s correcting me. My mind is spinning thoughts, assaulting me. Was that the last time I will ever have her, hold her against me, or hear her heart beat against my own?

“I can’t…” I plead on the verge of tears. I can’t lose her! Can’t.

“Lose me? You already have. Leave, get out, and go home! Sleep like you have been for the past couple weeks, and think about what it was that you could have had. This is the end, Corey.” I think I see the tears falling from her eyes, but I’m not sure because I feel the wetness on my own face.

Now I get it; I do. I know what it feels like to have been her, to have loved and lost. I slip my shoes on, grab my wallet and keys, and head out the front door.

Anger and hurt consume me. I stumble down the stairs, not even caring that I’m hitting the wall with my fists.

How could I be so dumb to think she would just take me back without a backward glance?

How could I so stupidly assume she would let me into her heart again after I broke it into a million and one pieces?

You’re just like your father….

The words linger in my mind even when I know they shouldn’t.

NERDY BOOK FREAK's 5 Star Review

I absolutely loved this book! I was impatiently waiting for the conclusion if Mimi and Cirey'sstiry and it was well worth the wait. It was everything i was hoping it would be a great ending and a great series a definite MUST READ!

J.L. Beck is the Author of Bittersweet Revenge, Bittersweet Love, Bittersweet Hate and Bittersweet Symphony. She lives in Elroy, WI with her husband Brandon, and daughter Bella.

Since the moment she could reach the shelves on the bookshelf she’s been reading, thus influencing her to write. Her favorite books are those that leave an imprint on your soul. You know the ones that have you putting everything off because you have to find out what happens next.

When she’s not writing or reading (of course) you can find her picking up after her three year old daughter, or explaining to her husband why its unsafe to do something any other way, than the way your wife told you too.

Shes a huge fan of all things drama, with shows like The Vampire Diaries, and Arrow being some of her favorites. She’s addicted to all things social media, caffeine, and Starbucks.

You know you want to. (Her words, not ours so it’s totally OKAY!)

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Release Day Blitz for My Wife's Li'l Secret by Eve Rabi

Title: My Wife's Li'l Secret

Author: Eve Rabi

 Release Date: November 18, 2014

Synopsis

She called me the miracle in her life, I called her my everything.

Sounds corny, I know, but I really believed I was the luckiest bastard on earth. I had the loving and supportive wife, a nurturing mother to our two precious girls, a thriving business and the future looked rosy. I was a contented man.

But overnight everything changed. My wife withdrew from me, ignored our children, and made it clear she was no longer interested in playing the role of wife and mother.

We had two children under five, they needed her. I needed her.

When her dressing began to change and she disappeared for hours, I suspected I was not enough for her.

Thinking she was having an affair, I placed my wife of five years under surveillance.

What my surveillance revealed shook my world, broke my heart and exposed a web of lies and deceit.

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Links to Buy

Amazon US:  http://amzn.to/1yKX35T
Amazon UK:  http://amzn.to/1t0iKKL

What reviewers are saying about

My Wife's Li'l Secret...

"Wow I was totally entranced with this book from the beginning!" 

"Wish I could award this book 10 out of 5 STARS!!"

"All in all I loved this book, it made me laugh, cry, hold my breath till I went blue, smile and finally caused my heart to break for Ritchie!"

"Very gripping story line! But keep the tissues handy."

"Twists that will blow your mind and make you think about this book long after you finish it."

Excerpt

Since my wife was out partying again, bedtime routine for our girls was left to me. Again. I tucked Ally and Becky into bed and began to read a story to them. “Once upon a time…”

“Dadda?” Ally said placing her hand on the storybook and stopping me from continuing.

I paused and looked at my daughter. “Yes, Alleycat?”

“Dadda, what’s a hooka?”

“Whaaaat?” I peered at my daughter wondering if I had heard correctly.

“The teacher at preschool, she said, ‘Here comes the hooka,’ when she saw Mummy.”

Slowly, I lowered the book and stared at my daughter. “It’s …it’s …”

How do I explain what a hooker is to a four-year-old? I shouldn’t even be in a position where I had to.

“The lady shouldn’t have said that, Ally,” I muttered.

“But, Dadda …”

Two-year-old Becky spun around and clamped her hand over Ally’s mouth. “Shhh! Let Daddy read the story, Ally!”

Becky hated anyone interrupting a story, so to prevent her from getting mad with us, both Ally and I fell silent. I continued reading even though I was terribly distracted by Ally’s words.

“Talk about it tomorrow, Ally,” I muttered when the opportunity arose.

Ally nodded.

After the kids fell asleep, I sat in my lounge in the dark and pondered Ally’s teacher’s comment.

Liefie had great legs, a great figure and I had no problem with her wearing whatever she liked, but people were talking and clearly her dressing needed to be …addressed.

Of course I expected Liefie to become angry when I confronted her about it, accuse me of controlling her and after the number of arguments we had had, I was reluctant to talk to her about it.

But when I saw her the following evening, all dolled up and ready to party without her family again, hooker was the word, alright.

Her red skirt was the size of a large belt, her white top strained across her breasts and ended above her belly button, her fake tan looked like she’d dipped herself in food coloring and that garish, face paint with that dominating electric-blue eye shadow…reminded me of Braveheart.

She didn’t look pretty; she looked like an aging prostitute. Harsh words, I know, but they weren’t out of malice, they were simply an observation. (People were talking, remember?)

Tarty make-up aside, to my absolute surprise, she sported two piercings above her left eyebrows. My jaw fell.

When did that happen, I wondered? How could that happen? Why hadn’t she told me about it?

Of course it was her body and she was free to do what she liked to it, but facial piercings weren’t something I liked. She knew that.

She could have at least mentioned it to me before she pieced her face. We were husband and wife; it was reasonable to expect her to talk to me about something like that before she did it.

“What’s with the piercing?” I asked, both mesmerized and irritated by them.

She shrugged, flashed me a deal-with-it look and turned away.

With a weary sigh, I walked around to face her. “We need to talk.”

A guarded look flashed in her eyes before they hardened.

“Liefie, you need to dress more like a mother,” I said in a quiet voice. “You have two children and …”

“What?! You want to tell me how to dress now? You want to CONTROL ME?”

Just as I had expected.

“Hey, keep you voice down, will you? I’m talking to you, that’s all.”

“There is nothing wrong with my dressing, okay?! Nothing!”

“Yes, there is, Liefie. Your skirts are too short, your tops are way too tight and the people at Ally’s school are talking about it. You need to …”

“Ally’s school?” Her heavily-lined eyes slanted.

“Yes!”

Her painted, pillar-box-red mouth twisted into a sneer. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I swear!”

She cocked her head and looked at me. “Who told you that?”

“Ally told me. She said one of the mothers or teachers, I can’t remember, after seeing you, used the word hooker.”

Her body stiffened. “Ally said ….THAT?!?”

“Yea…”

“That bitch! Where is she?!” She turned and strode off in search of Ally. Even though she was in heels, she almost ran.

“Liefie stop!” I cried running after her, shocked she would call her little daughter a bitch. “Leave her alone!”

She found Ally playing with Becky in the TV room. “Did you call me a hooker?” she demanded, putting her flaming face in Ally’s.

“Liefie stop this shit!” I warned.

Ally’s eyes flitted between Liefie’s and mine, a terrified look on her face.

“Lief…ie! ” I hissed. “Stop this …”

Liefie suddenly backhanded Ally across the face, sending her crashing into a doll’s house.

Ally lay on the floor so stunned, she didn’t even cry. The only thing that showed her distress was puddle appearing around her waist.

For a moment, I too was stunned. Liefie had never ever hit our kids before.

Then fury overtook me – I grabbed my wife by the hair and slammed her against the wall.

Putting my face in hers, I snarled, “You ever touch my child like that and I will fuck the shit out of you, understand? UNDERSTAND?”

Her attempt to look defiant failed and I saw fear flicker in her eyes.

I had never hit Liefie before, never even called her names, so this wasn’t something she was used to.

“Don’t ever lay a finger on any of my daughters. Understand?” I pushed my face further into hers, resisting the urge to head-butt her.

“Daddy, stop! Daddy!” Ally cried, while Becky started to whimper. I looked over at my two children clinging to each other, terror on their little faces.

What am I doing?!

Quickly, I released Liefie and took a giant step back.

I walked over to Ally and Becky, scooped up both of them and hugged them to me. “It’s okay, it’s okay!”

They looked at their mother who stood holding her head with both hands, but did not try to go to her.

After a few moments, Liefie ran out of the room, shouting, “Your father is an abusive man! He just abused me in front of our children. That’s the kind of man I married!”

I looked at Ally. “Sorry, hon.”

“Why did you tell her, Daddy?” Ally whispered, holding her tear-stained cheek.

“I’m sorry, Al, I was trying to get her to do the right thing. I’m sorry.”

“You knew she’d hit me, Daddy. You shouldn’t have told her.”

I peered at Ally. “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hit you, Ally. Usually. Right?”

No answer.

“ALLY?!”

“I need to change my pants,” Ally muttered, ignoring my questions.

My head jerked to look at little Becky.

Becky’s head bobbed, her eyes opening wide.

You can’t be serious?!

My eyes shifted back to Ally. “This is the first time she hit you, right? Or does she hit you? Tell me, Ally.” I shook her. “Tell me!”

Becky’s head continued to bob.

“All the time, Daddy,” Ally finally muttered. “Yesterday she hit me because I took too long to get Uncle Viggo’s beer. From the fridge.”

“WHAAAT?” She had my four-year-old daughter fetching alcohol for her brother?

Ally nodded.

“Mummy hit Ally here,” Becky said, slapping the top of her head.

I was mortified at what I was hearing.

If Liefie could hit my daughter that way in front of me, backhand her, what would she be doing behind my back? Aghast, I looked at my firstborn who I idolized. “Ally, honey, why didn’t you tell me this?”

“You weren’t here, Dadda. And Mummy said if I carry tales she’ll make me sorry.” Fat tears coursed down little Ally cheeks. I drew my girls closer, feeling absolutely gutted to know they were being silently abused by their own mother. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Daddy will make it stop. I’m so sorry. This is not going to happen again. I promise.”

Author Bio

Eve Rabi lives in Sydney Australia, but was born in South Africa.

She is the author of 24 books and is known for her kick-ass leading ladies, her alpha males and her ability to make you cry and make you laugh as you fall in love.

She loves music and cannot live without it.

She also enjoys dancing, (was a Latin dance instructor years ago) and keeps her kids in line by threatening to bust a Zumba move in front of their school assembly.

  

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